Finding your way

A long time ago someone very important to me told me I'd have to find my path in life. Then I'd have to walk it.

It sounds easy doesn't it? Finding your path, then walking it.

Have you ever gone hiking, and just seen something off the trail that looked cool or just needed to be more closely looked at? Then you turned around, and for a second you needed to find the path again. That is a microcosm of our lives I think. We all have the things that take us off the path briefly, somethings are good, somethings are not. It is during the times when we turn around and find our path that our true character comes out. Are we willing to labor to find the path again? Are we willing to fail just so that we can get back there? Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not. But the decisions in our lives effect the people around us, so what will we do?

Well right now I am laboring. I find that when you come to a clearing, it is harder to follow the path, in the forest it is easier to see the trail, but in a field or a desert the path is just forward, and not in any direction. It is just all trust.

I think it is easier for me than for others, I believe in Jesus' death and resurrection, so I believe I have the holy spirit, and am directed, comforted and disciplined spiritually by Him. But I know people who wonder, from one emotion to the next, from one crash to the next fall (the bumper car game of life). Hoping that one day they'll just happen upon that path. Yet all that happens is they walk farther into oblivion, further into hate, anger, bitterness and denial. I long that they would know my God, their creator, and their only hope. Not for happiness, lots of things give you happiness, not for a better life, some Christians I know have horridly difficult lives, but their only hope for fulfillment, for healing and for a future. I pray they find it, and I pray Jesus uses me to help them, not to judge them, i hate when people judge, but i just want to love them, and show them love can change all things, it can make all things new.

Remembrance

If you did know, I just returned from a year in England, that was about 4 months ago, but it feels like yesterday. I've been missing it ever since, don't get me wrong it is great to be home seeing family and friends, but there is nothing like freedom and lack of responsibility. I traveled all over the place, I was able to meet new people, and fall in love with amazing views. I used my brains, my whits my heart to make it through crappy situations, to help friends and search after God in a place void of spiritual conviction.

Now I am home. I feel... stuck in the muck of mediocrity. I've made new friends being home and hooked back up with old ones, and I brought some new ones back with me. My family is great, I love them more than anything and would do anything for them. But I am back in reality now. I have to do so much, and nothing is really left to me to decide. Go to class, work etc etc. There are two sides to my heart the "Cheers" side and the "Desperado" side.

Cheers
The place where everybody knows your name. I love being around people I know care about me. That will sympathize a little bit, then that will kick me in the ass to get the job done. There is this ideal of community that I have fallen in love with since I have been to England and back. It is the idea of having a community, or close knit group of friends and such that will do two things simultaneously. They will Push and Support. Two action words that I have a passion for now. Alone these words mean this; pushing will result in stretching which will result in brokenness and being burnt out. Support will result in feeling loved, and guided, in laziness and co-dependency. Yet together these things form a community that will live on the edges and take risks in hurting one another just to see each other grow and mature, whose pros will not only neutralize their cons, but will result in so much more. It will also create a safe environment to experiment with ones gifts and talents. There is one ingredient you need to successfully pull this off however, you need to be in-offence-able. This is the kicker and the one that leads me to be a Desperado I think, because I lack it.

Desperado
Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
You been out ridin fences for so long now
Oh, youre a hard one I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin you Can hurt you somehow
Dont you draw the queen of diamonds, boy Shell beat you if shes able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you cant get
Desperado, oh, you aint gettin no youger Your pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkin
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Dont your feet get cold in the winter time? The sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
Its hard to tell the night time from the day Youre loosin all your highs and lows
Aint it funny how the feeling goes away? Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin, but theres a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before its too late

thats the eagles, need I say anymore.

My heart will always be alone, but I'll always be looking for the Cheers.

-mike

Pondering

I am sitting in a comfortable seat in a coffee shop, people talking around me, not to loud, but enough that I can catch certain words. Two old men, old friends, sitting by the window the tall one has his legs crossed and the sun is hitting half of his face as he explains the last 20 or so years of his life. An older woman and her possible daughter sit across from me. The woman knitting and her daughter reading the paper, the sun too casting shadows against crinkled clothes. The girl next to me is bobbing her leg fiercely as she has too much coffee in her system and sitting in between two men around her age makes her nervous. Her mind is reading the book, but her thoughts are all over the place, trying to remember if everything is alright with her current state. She crosses her legs the other way, she is comfortable now, and the bobbing comes in spurts, shes becoming more comfortable, and begining to enjoy the book she is reading, her foot bends back as se takes a sip of coffee, she is finally all right with who she is, and her foot starts to bob in the opposite direction, she doesn't even notice us guys are around.

I sit here pondering, I've thought and remembered the past few days that I love to think. I love to sit in silence and let my brain run wild. It helps clear my head. I've noticed in the past four years or so I've begun to stop letting it wonder, and I've noticed that with that lack of wondering, i am beginning to lack creativity. While keeping everything in my head that should be out and let the rest get through, it bottle necks and I lose the ability to think freely and with fluidity, everything feels forced. Everything from prayer to conversation, I have brief moments of clarity, and yet sooner or later I fall silent and just listen, as I have nothing really intelligent or at least outside the box, to say.

I've begun to write a story, forcing things out, it is about my grandmother. It is a sort of comedy. So far it is about 3 pages, I'll keep forcing it and see how it ends up.

I've been thinking of my friends lately. How they are spread all over the place, how some have begun to fade in my life, and others just dawning. I realize that I love new people, I love getting to know people. I realize I may heal, but I'll never forget. I might go on, but I'll always have them with me.

I may go to Chicago this weekend, be about an 8hr drive. My brother is going alone, and I want to give him some company, we'll see what he thinks.

Been awhile...

It has been awhile since I've blogged, and that is because the urge comes and goes. I told some people that I would be putting some of my writtings on this, and it ended up I haven't really written anything all summer! That is crazy. Any way, i've never been much of a blogger, i just used it last year to keep the family updated on what I was doing in Europe and to keep them encouraged, that I wasn't dead or injured or anything like that. So there that is, i wonder will I keep blogging, i guess we'll have to see.

Back in the USA

I am back, and as I have told a few people i will be using this blog more to get some of my writings out there and to get some feed back than for a journal type thing. Any way, God Bless all and keep in touch...


-mike

The One we Love

I wondered into a conversation with a friend last night. I don't even recall how it came about, but it really reminded me of something about Jesus. So much I think about Jesus in relation to all those who don't believe. It isn't that I don't think about how much I need him, I just more often think like this, "Wow, if we could understand who Jesus is, and live it out, how could the world resist?"

That seems to be the question I always come to. I don't think that is a bad question. Because I have yet to truly find someone who has figured Him (Jesus) out. And yet maybe that to is wrong to say. I have yet to figure out my brother, my father and even my mother (whom I'd say I've gotten to know the most in my life, yet I still am surprised by her so much in life.) We will never figure God out.

Song of Solomon

Beloved

2 I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My lover is knocking:
"Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night."

3 I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?

4 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.

5 I arose to open for my lover,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
on the handles of the lock.

6 I opened for my lover,
but my lover had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.

7 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!

8 O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my lover,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.

Friends

9 How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you charge us so?

If we live our lives, awakening from slumbers, allowing our heart to be awakened by our Lord, and rising to the voice of our Love, if we dare to throw off the securities, if we have the courage to get dirty, the world will ask who it is we love so much, who could be worth our very lives. The world will want to know, and the best thing of it all is, they will know, if you arise off your bed at his voice, you will be doing the work of the Father, and all the world will see. "Put your lamp on lamp stand so that all may have the light." All it means is, live it, live it like you believe it, and get to know it so you know what you believe.

Preaching to himself...
-Mike

Tree and Love

Love and Tree

I approached the tree, it was like wondering down an alley of darkness, the great maples of our times, hanging over head not yet destroyed by the wicked disease that would impact this area so widely. Like so many years ago when the peoples of this land where taken away, by storms and guns and wants and greed’s. I approached the tree in the darkness and it reminded me of where I had come from. It moved me, it beckoned to me like the harlots of my youth. Like the sirens of my days filled with misfortune. Yet this tree this ghostly image at the end of this alley of life was of a different time, a time immemorible.
I longed to know what it held for me, I longed to peer into the heart of that tree. This life I had lived had been so void of anything of it’s nature I had to have it, I had to see what it held for me. Like destiny at my door steep here was the shadow of my future. Was it the end of the beginning? It is my doubt that makes my feet stutter, it is my longing for everything to be right that allows my heart to flutter. Where can I go from here when all I want is to see the other side. When all I want is in, into the heart that holds my attention.
Some tell me it is this pain, pain of all that is hopped for and not yet grasped that we live for. What else have we but hope, love and faith that things will end up real. The reality I wander into is the wondering of the masses, opium some say. But I wonder how they were hurt by this tree that I gaze upon, because their hearts have been so damaged by their own thoughts of love. Still I am beckoned and I can not see past the mist of this age. I can not see past my youth and the wants of my heart.
I wonder why the pain runs deep, how the pain was applied to me so strongly that I hide it from all who look. I conceal the hope so well, I forget it there. So here is my try, here is my release into the minds of all who read. My heart covets the life I want to live, and yet I hold it back, what have you to say, to me the heart of hope. I uncover this hiding for you and I say I will hope, I will long for all that is real and true and it will only be death that can keep me from attaining it here.
And break does the light into this picture, the heart of the matter revealed, it is my own darkness that shadows my feet from their path and now I see. See that this tree that stands in front of me is nothing but allegory-… and metaphor for all that is our hearts that wish to explore. I remember the youth of adventure, the muse of my soul, the beauty of fare ladies and the desire that lays in me like a mole. Will I forget them I think not, I will restore them and place them in their rightful spot.
You see the light it is clear, it rains down from heaven and like love makes my heart smear, from east to west and north to south, like the branches that hang from this gallant tree, and the honey that swarms them the springly bees. Next to the branches I look for luck, and see the feet of wild birds to freely struck, in orbit around this tree so full of life, it lends to passions the man’s soul filled with strife, yet let lose the longings so fare that all in the woman’s heart subdue with nothing but feminine care. I lift my glass to you, birds and bees, it is this that my soul lose me in the trees.
So I wonder around this tree of life, so once I thought, I drag my fingers across its bark. I think and think and think and still no words come to mind, on how to describe this paradox of hope that love will be found amongst the trees, that one would stand out amid the rest. So I stare into wilderness and hope again, for love to find me, or me find it. Perhaps I merely look harder and my soul will find it’s fit.

Political Ranting

This was a response to a friends writing...

As am I, enraged. Long have the depths of the controversial constrained the heels of men and woman in the political process that seems to direct hearts to the categorization that is the polarization of our homeland. A few times in history we have come to this place, and every situation was to be a breaking and turning point for our nation. I pray to God that the arms of men, brothers and sisters do not lash out at one another, but the words of daughters and fathers, mothers and sons seem to leak from the very foundations of the laws of our land and this is our pain. That we must rise against the will of those we love. Not in rebellion but in compassion. I fear, I fear for that which as yet to be seen, the break down of this country by the politics we all say we hate, and yet we vote for it to continue.
I too walk a cold path with my hands in my pockets wondering. Wandering the paths I see before me trying to find the root cause. I can not look back, I have done too much looking back. I will move forward and I just wish that some would walk with me. Not to agree, but to explore, explore how the ideals and dreams and visions of a few men a few hundred years ago translate into relevancy upon our 21st century heart. Just as those men peered from a seat of unknowing, far greater than our own, it was the want for something better that drove them to uphold and fight for all that they held dear.
Some may think that means we must rise up in anger, rise up in rebellion against the powers that be. But I say no. I peer into the years before us and I see the foundations laid by men and women’s blood so that we would not have to fight to be better. Don’t you see they fought so we wouldn’t have to! They laid down lives so that we could live them in perpetual change, that is our country, one of melting on of movement it is dynamic. Why must we hold to that which seems dear when it destroys the dreams of the ones who will come after. All I see is smog my friends. All I see is green.
The dead presidents sneer at us from the corruption that rises from our hearts! Take responsibility for your actions. You voted them their, take them down from there! We believe them, fess up, we nodded our heads in agreement. We got stung and you say, oh those damn bastards in DC. I’m not saying that, I’m hanging my head. They represent me. They represent my ink on some paper. They represent my land, my house, my heart my dreams. What will we do? I may not be there, but my voice will be there. No tea parties for me, they live on my dollar, they work on my time.

hope you get it, i dunno if i do. Any quetions just ask.

-Mike

Fade in...

So I am back, and once again the gray skies and drizzle of the midlands of England remind me of eternal wetness that is Birmingham haha. My room... is still a mess. Upon leaving for my month break I was forced to pack my dorm room up in a box and a duffel bag and now it still sits in that state, besides the stuff I ripped out of the duffel bag to get to my bed things so I could sleep. My closet is wide open and is about a 1/4 filled with clothes my failed attempt to get stuff put away. I am slightly procrastinating finishing and will most likely do it this weekend.
I slept in today and it was nice, a couple of odd dreams of friends and the like but sleeping is going well just like EATING!!! this was my food in take yesterday...

Breakfast: Bacon, eggs, Shredded wheat with milk
Lunch: A bunch of fries and fish big piece of cod
Dinner: Curry and bread, with green beans, and more fries, with an apple
Dinner II (At bible study) : Big plate of pasta with a really good meaty sauce, a cup of tea and another drink
Desert: Digestive cookies... like 5-8 of them haha

ya that was yesterday and thats the most so far, but that minus the second dinner has been everyday this week, crazy huh! I can't stop stuffing myself, after my being on foot for 30 days straight, I toned up a lot, so I have zero fat on my body it's all rippling muscle haha. No lie.

I've been reading like a maniac, highlighting up this Political Science book, good ideas, alittle spooky, about Europe dominating the 21st century, the author seems little disillusioned by his own ideas, but the fact is he's not to far from the truth. Europe is the new sleeping giant that no body is paying any attention to. 150 million more people than the US, a stronger networked economy and more and more countries wanting to join, with each addition they may get weakened in the short term, but end up galvanizing the European network in the long run. Might be worried about China now, but their economy is smaller than Italy! And europe joined is already dominating under the shadow and cover of the US headlines.
Even though right now I am frustrated with the low value of the dollar I guess it is working, our economy is picking up with our exports being cheaper to the world, but we keep spending and borrowing around the world over, so even though we are rising we are hollowing our insides out. None of that is from the book haha, just my observations. But it is irrelevant to most americans, as only 8% of americans have passports, which means only that many leave the country or have left the country in the past. So low value dollar abroad doesn't really mean much to them, but to me when I am in the country with the highest value monetary currency against the dollar it sucks hard core!!!

Thats my rant! Good luck to all you Americans who are reading this, I know presidential stuff is cropping it's head more and more in the news and such, stay strong remember no matter who they are right or left they are full of it. Ohhh man, and I studying political science! God Help Me!

Love you all very much, keep up the commenting and e-mailing me your thoughts.

-Mike

...into the sunset.

Journal Entry Jan 14th 2007...

As my great adventure comes to a near end, in my minds eye I wonder the fields of my youth, in all it's drama, in all it's worry and confusion. I sit in reverent silence seeing the spooked pheasant clammer their worried wings into the air, the setting sun over my shoulders casting the golden hue upon their white breasts and reflecting the true hope of every mans heart.
The farm land of the English countryside speeds by as if to give a glimpse of perfection, knowing that to linger and ponder it's existence would betray and reveal the reality of the farmers life of toil, and the curse that it truly is.
I can not help but recall a certain Spanish rider when my eye catches sight of the modern spinning wind-mills in the distance, which produce the electrified fortune so many hope to grasp. Thus I am reminded of yet another man of lore. When everything he touched turned to gold. And yet he realized that the things of life and of flesh although may be fleeting, they are worth the risk and pain that may come with failure. Although the gold may bring us security in mind, our hearts will never be content and know this that hearts move minds, but the mind will never budge the stubborn heart. So is it with the Love I carry, though I long at security, I will always live for love.
Yet it seems my heart is as hard as I have ever noticed it. Only longing for One and longing for His return. Tiss when I realize, in this instant, that my heart is as David, that though through calamity and failure, adventure and confusion my being, my inner-man as Paul calls it, will and can only arrive and rise to one conclusion by my instinct and faith... WORSHIP, worship the Lord almighty, Holy HOly, HOLY, the Lord God Almighty, WHO WAS, WHO IS, WHO SHALL EVER BE. And that is what I sung, that is what I sung loud and clear in the streets and back alleys of Florence ITALY, realizing... realizing my youth and the adventure that it is.

END of journal Entry.

love you all. God's Got ya! He's Got me, go for Jesus, and I'll see you under the tree!

-Mike

Dublin

So got to Dublin after pulling an all nighter to finish a paper, I had 2 hours of sleep. I packed my room and my bag and got to Dublin at like 12pm on fri. We went out that day for awhile saw a bunch of stuff. The next day I woke up and we went to; St. Stephen's Green, merrion park, st. Patricks, Christ Church. The choir at Christ church rocked.
Last night we cooked a meal the 5 of us, and it cost us 2.50 per person to cook in the kitchen, bunch of pasta and sauce and stuff. OHHHH fantasico!

Today we went to national gallery, Guiness brew house.

Not much else tomorrow I get a day by myself, to sleep in.

Not much to write now, so i'll talk to you later.
-mike

The journey

Wow, how amazing is life?

I can't help but miss everything back home, it isn't that I am homesick, I just miss the things I know. I realize I have changed, in huge and major ways. I know there are things in me that still need to be rooted out, and things that need to be matured. There is a lot of life baggage that I have that I find really hard to let go of. I can't imagine it will be any easier when I am older, so I want to do as much maturing and changing now, even if I think it hurts a bit. I see the future, I am not saying I know what it is, but I can see something on the horizon, and it seems so far away, I don't want to let go of what is right behind me. But if I am to get to that place, then I must let go. It isn't about turning your back on things, it isn't about forgetting or even healing, all those things will happen with God and time. It is about letting go. Thats it. I don't know how to let go.

I dunno if anyone can relate. I feel like a little kid complaining. But there are somethings I just don't want to get over, I don't want to put to rest. I just want it to go away. Nothing is ruining my trip here, nothing could. But as I am learning, from the ages of like 15- (i hear) till 27, is the toughest time. I gotta say the past three years of my life have been crazy, ups and downs, to be honest way more ups than downs, but the downs are just so emotional, so life changing and real, long lasting and life or death.

I have realized so much about myself here, so much! I've realized it's not a bad thing to get a compliment, weird huh? I don't really get them much, so the people here who have told me about what they see in me, has blown me away. I am surprised so much, the strength of God is seen by people, all we've got to do is live it. I've also once again seen that my writings can have an impact on people. Not many in recent years have noticed my writings, a few have said "Oh thats nice", or "Wow, that's deep." But a few here have come to embrace it and urge me to do more, urge me to grow in it, and to keep writing, not because it is deep, but because it has spoken to them. One said "You have so much to say and you say it so well." I was so blown away. I couldn't look her in the eye when she said that to me.

I dunno what to say, I have a lot hitting me right now,God, relationship, School, Travel, none of these things are bad, but all seem so heavy, so i walk with weight, but Jesus has told us that He wishes to be our rock, the one who carries the heaviness with us. Will I let him? I try some days, I don't others. Today I didn't let him, I just tried to carry it, I did it, but it was horrible. I hurt, I cried, I prayed and I was stubborn. Tomorrow? I don't know what I will do tomorrow. I can only wake up and give it a try. Jesus said, "I come to give life, and life more abundantly." I want to live! I want to hop and skip every step, I want on my pogo stick and I want to smile and laugh all the way home. So I will, I am an alien to this place. My strength is not my own. So there is my BLOG for the day, time to finish editing my paper, it is 132am haha, life of a college student! WOOOOOOO.

I love all of you, e-mail me or comment on my blog look at my pictures do all sorts of things for me today! haha, laugh... look in the mirror and flex, even if you have no muscles, it always makes me laugh when i do that haha! ohh sad... haha! Do a little dance even if you don't feel like it, it really will liven up your heart, and smile, force you lips to smile and move your eyebrows around to fit the smile and do weird fish faces. That is the best! Any way, so much, so little, the cat and the fiddle. Bet you didn't see that coming!

-Mike

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to say a quick hello! I love all of you and am very thankful for all of your love, prayers and support. It has been good and hard, growing and rewarding. I am having a wonderful time having the adventure of my life.

Check out my pictures link ---------------------------------------------->

any way having a great time a good weekend instore for myself. Eat up the turkey and let those muscles go limp as you fall into silent content comatose. Love you all, God Bless.

-Mike

Plans, God and why...

So much is going on, school, life and if that isn't enough i already ate all the chocolate my mom sent me, it is gone... ;-(

So my Christmas break is going to look something like this...

Dec 15-21(22)
- Ireland; Dublin etc.
Dec 22(23)-Jan 4
- Norway; Oslo-->Trondhiem
Jan 4(5)-8(9)
- Austria-->Spain

Thats my idea, still scrounging money
My plane from Birmingham to Dublin will be $34 dollars!!! so cheap!
Plane from Dublin to Oslo will be $28 Dollars!!!!
But my big expense will be my eurail pass; somewhere between $611-645, which will get me around in Ireland, Norway, Austria and Spain and where ever else I decide to go, haha.
Then food and lodging, yuk!

God well, the Lord is showing me so much, the work of His hand in others, so easy to see it in others than in yourself. Also he is just showing me myself, scary thing, who out of any of us really wants to look at ourselves haha. Ohh man, there is a reason my generation especially surrounds themselves with TVs, Video Games, etc etc etc, we hate to hear our own minds... Are you able to just sit, quietly for long periods of time, do you feel like your wasting time, do you feel like it could be better used to do other things like watch TV, wash that counter, pick up that room, or practice your golf swing. We are a society of ADD kids, I know I am, my attention span is about as long as the width of my hair. 30 second commercials, instant gratification, microwaves and big macs, we want what we want now, pack all our lives into one day and try to forget about tomorrow.
Any way, slow down friends, you know the things that are vital, but cut some things out. One of my favorite things to do when I was in St. Paul, when ever I was there, I would always drive up to the capital and the cathedral, and I would just look at how huge the buildings were, then I would go into the Cathedral, and pick a pew, sit and just be in wonder at the hands that built that place. I would stare and just be silent. God knows us, and for some reason, when we go inside the big Church buildings we feel kind of safe, we remember the early years, for some of us they were a little earlier than others, but we are reminded of something simpler, when we didn't bog ourselves down with the strife of this life. God will come when you take a step towards Him. If your burnt out, sick of long nights and short days, or just wanting to just stop, sit and be in awe of who God is... Psalm 18

"I love you, Lord; you are my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my Fortress, and my Savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold."

The last time I was in the Cathedral, and a few times before that, I was sitting in awe, praying and reading. And a guy, a different person every time, came to me and asked me if I could help him, he told me his problems and his journey, it ended with me giving him no money, though I know he wanted it, and it wasn't because I didn't want to, but because I am a college kid and am as broke as he is. So I prayed for him. I prayed for the Lord's prevision, and for his protection and love.
When I opened my eyes, the guy was just starring at me. He didn't speak for a few seconds, lost in the want of someone truly trying to help not just giving to push a man away, he noticed that he wasn't a burden to me.

What do you love to do? I just ask, love to love.

I don't know where that man is now, maybe out on the street drunk, maybe begging for money, but maybe, just maybe he realized that his life has value, and it was worth more than a beggars ransom, but worth his heart to try at life instead of being a victim. Maybe, like most of you, love gave him courage. Find your Cathedral my friends, find your house of God, your house of Worship and long to be in awe of God. Your movement towards Him, will draw Him near. And if your really feeling daring today, ask Him for more. More of life, more of love, more of Him. Just beware of what you wish for. Hahaha. Love you all.

-Mike

Love conquors all Fear

I dunno what to write, the home sickness has finally struck me!

I told a friend all i wanted to do was drive in the red truck down a gravel road blaring some country music with the windows down. With uncontrollable events on either side of the ocean, I could really go for a late night conversation with my mom over tea or chocolate-chip cookies. I could also go for an old movie while sitting in my dads lap in his chair. and I am 21 years old haha.

But I am so glad I am here, if I was anywhere else other than here right now it wouldn't be right. I am exactly where I ought to be with the things of life raining down over my head.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want,
He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me besides still water,
He restores my soul.

He leads me in the paths of righteousness,
For His name sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil
for you are with me
your rod and your staff they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
you anoint my head with oil
my cups runs over

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord -
Forever.

I wrote in a poem once, life comes at a funny time in ones own existence.

Life is just goofy.

So I'll keep living, I am sure all you old timers out there are saying, ohhh man there is mike over in England whining about life. You have a point. But here is one for ya,

No matter where you go... there you are.

Beaches, cities, home or abroad. You still have your mind, your heart and your soul.

Faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.

-Mike

The Good things...

You have no idea how amazing it is to get chocolate from your mother when your like 2 thousand miles away!!! Oh man... you have no idea what it feels like to eat all that chocolate in like one sitting!!! YUK!

Well not all of it, but a lot!

Life has been grand, I went through a little burn out, and am still resting because of it, but the reason for it... well they are the best reasons for burn out I have ever had. I went to Norway for ten days, got back had three days of school, went to Scotland for four days, came back and wrote a paper or two, and now I am just worn out. I thought like 3 days of just laying low would cure me, but it is proving to be alittle more than that. I am still tired and my mind is just on the edge between, crabby and happy. But it is alright, its half the battle just realizing that your burnt out, if you can admit it, then it is just stupid not to do anything about it. So I am spending as much time with God as I can. It is the only thing to do. I get rest, I drink orange juice eat ok, and be with God.

Today I went to this art museum in downtown Birmingham, ohh it was so beautiful. I was proud of myself because I one point I saw a bust (Head and shoulder sculpture) of this guy and I recognized the name. There is this guy in British Politics his name is Edmund Burke. He was a conservative durring the time of the american and french revolutions. He spoke out against the french and their destroying of the Monarchy. Any way, when Burke first came into Politics he was a clerk type guy for this man names, Charles, 2nd Marquis of Rockingham. And the bust was of that guy, Charles. I was blown away. I wasy most blown away that I remembered all that, then blown away that I didn't learn it in class but in a book I am reading about Burke for my own leasuire. Then I was blown away at the fact that I was looking at the man, whom brought Burke into Politics. Burke is known as one of the best Orators of British Politics... ever! And the best rhetoric writer of politics in the world for his time, though he was mainly concerned with British Politics, he had contemporaries of men like Thomas Paine! I mean come on! If you are known as one of the best, during a time of such great writers as PAINE! Wow your damn good. Any way, I am trying to learn about Burke, leanr from the best you know. Even people who didn't like him, still knew he was the best. But that aside, if you have any questions about Burke just e-mail me i'll tell you more haha.

Well, I went to the museum, and I was frustrated, because I was there to do an assignment, and the whole things was like 12 pages of questions, so I did it, but every questions was the SAME QUESTION just for a different work of art. Ohhh man I wanted to take my brain out of my head and give it a rest, you can only answer a question so many ways, before you want to rip the paper in half. So I was a bit crabby, then we; Jill, Kat, JR and I went to star-bucks (i hate american branch coffee shops, i miss the good old original ones, like Amazing Grace, or Jarabeks) I got an orange juice, cause coffee would of killed me. I felt better after that, but still alittle slow. I just need sleep.

Love you all, check out my pictures off the link there >>>>>>

And comment on my page, i wanna see who is reading, if anyone!?

Happenings

So I have been up to a lot lately. I have been pretty busy so I haven't written much.

I went to London...

- I saw the original Alice in Wonderland
- The oldest manuscript of Baowulf
- Stamps from the Stamp Act (It started our revolution, it was a patriotic moment)
- A Gutenberg Bible
- The oldest Bible in the World
- The original Magna Carta
- Tons of 13, 14, 15th century manuscripts.

It was amazing.

I went to the Globe Theater, it was awesome.

Got to see Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, The millennium Bridge, the London Bridge and St. Pauls Cathedral.

Then when I got back, I went to a Museum.
- I looked at some very old amazing paintings, while listening to Ave Maria on my iPod, it sent me back in time pretty much. Haha.
- I was able to touch and read and page through, some 13-15th century Illuminated Manuscripts. It was pretty amazing.

So this weekend, I played in an Ultimate Frisbee Tournament. We ended up 3-4-1 we got 6 out of 12. It was tons of fun. I broke my toe nail, and got a bunch of gym burn, I scored tons of point threw tons of points, and laid out (dove for the frisbee) tons of times. I am sore bruised and totally content with life, haha. It was a great time. Now I am just waking up, it is about 1pm. It was a crappy night of sleep I think I was too tired from the weekend. I need to do some homework, and finish a book I have been reading. I need to eat and get outside sometime too. Well I miss you guys and love you all a lot. If you feel compelled to send me anything feel free; Reese's Peanut butter Cups, brownies, chocolate chip cookies... just an example of the generosity I will accept, and you know money is always a good thing, ok i'll stop being so honest... CYA!!!!

-Mike

Banks

So today I went to the bank, called HSBC. I went in and had all the stuff ready and the letter they sent me in the mail. I talk to the guy and it happens that I need another piece of information and I need to get a letter from the university saying I am actually a student!! I am kind of peeved. Just because I had a check in my pocket, what is wrong with opening an account and putting money in it. You are getting my money, just give me the account! People the world over trying to protect me from me!

Any way... if thats the only thing I have to complain about life is good. And it is. I tried out with the Ultimate Club team here at Birmingham, and it went well. It was more of a show people how to play, because it is very new to Britain, and then I just showed off a little, and they talked to me afterwards and invited me to the club practice tonight at 6. I also went to Church yesterday, it went really well. I am noticing how much God is making me a leader, even though I feel so dry, spiritually speaking. I also find more and more, how we are all followers. I was told once that when we are leaders, we are always out in front, it is a lonely place. But with Jesus it is different. You can not out lead the Leader! You always, no matter where you are have Him by your side. I was at the service, and I was reading Psalm 139 I love that Psalm!!! And then the pastor got up and prayed, he said, "Lord... you knit us together in our mothers womb... we are fearfully and wonderfully made." I let a few tears go. It was Psalm 139. He is leading hearts to His heart, and when we allow Jesus to take leadership we all walk as One, not in an uncreative One, not in a zombie walk of brain washing One. We walk as we were created to be. All of us together, with the depths of Cor 13 Love! I dare you! Read Psalm 139 and 1Cor 13 and live it out. Make it your reality. It will change you. And yes old dogs can learn new tricks.

I love you all. Miss ya. Send me some e-mails haha. also here is my address...

Univeristy of Birmingham : Hall Manor House H5
Bristol Road South, Northfield
Birmingham
B31 2AE

Talk to you all later. I am going to London this weekend, so expect some pictures early next week.

Classes

It has been the first week of classes and so far I like them. My favorite being my visual journals class. Where over the length of the course we will be making leather bound travel journals by hand. I had a mix up witha few of my classes, the british politics class time had changed and no one told me. A few of us didn't know, I am still figuring out how the others found out, but it doesn't matter now. Then I read the schedule wrong for my film studies class.

Other than that I haven't been up to much lately, I did some dancing at the parties we have been having at the Manor Bar, here at manor House. It is funny, cause the europeans can't really dance that well. They have their own style, (which is really bad) but they all took forever to work up enough courage to join in and try to dance, we all welcomed them openly but they were pretty nervous. I've met a lot of brits, and now I am taking a break from meeting people. I'm alittle burnt out on that one. Meeting and getting to know the americans, now 370 other internationals is tough, i've done well, but I need a break.

Over the course of this week i did two major things. One... I learned how to play snooker. It is their pool game, and it lasts like hours!!! But it is fun, alittle more skill, as the table is about twice the size of ours and twice as many balls are played on the table. 15 red balls, and 6 others (Yellow, Green, Brown, Blue, Pink and Black) you must break the reds, then make one red at a time, only after making a red can you (and you have to) hit one of the other balls in. Open making a red you get 1 point. For the others it is ((with the color order above)2,3,4,5,6,7) When there are still red balls on the table, and the others go in, you take the others back out and put them back where they were when you set up to break. If you make a scratch, 4 points to the opponent, if you make a wrong ball at least 4 points to the opponent as well. In the end after all red balls are knocked in and all the others from lowest to highest are made, the person with the most points wins. The balls are smaller as are the pockets. It is a fun, weird game. Too many rules.

After snooker I read a 660 page book in about 3 days, maybe 4. It was pretty nice to have read a book. I haven't done it in awhile. Well Talk to you all later. Hope you are all itchin to go play snooker.

-Mike